I was so sad yesterday.
I will be so sad next week at chemo when I won't get to see you and your Aunt.
I am sad because you were always smiling even on a bad day you would crack a good joke, roll your eyes, and crack me up!
I hate that we met through cancer but I am so lucky that I met you. I am thankful , that I got to know you, and all of my BB Girls. They are too fun and I wouldn't be as sane as I am without them in my life!
You will be missed in that chemo chair next to mine.
I can't believe this little mini me... She is so much more stubborn (determined) so much more kind-hearted, so much more brave, curious, girly than I have ever been in my 36 years of life. I can't believe that you did it!!! I took the training wheels off. Explained to her that once they are off they are off.
And off she went!!!
You are just four
but a big girl four and I do miss the sweet way you use to call your Grandpa "Hampa" and your cousin Adrianna "Aid-Wanna". I will miss the old sweet ways you use to talk and keep soaking in the ways you talk using big girl words!
You crack me up when you say, "Mom, I just get so instructed" for...
I had chemo yesterday... it was a longgg day of getting ready for the event. My ride to chemo was not my honey which was good and sad because it's usually Dan and my littles but our friends Mom took me and she was so fun and great. I am so thankful for her taking me. It was a nice change with some great talks!
While starting I think my drip must have been on super speed or something because after my nurse finsihed my pre-meds and started the actual chemo I closed my eyes and all I want to do was Vomit. WAAAA My mouth keep salivating and I was worried if I let my nurse or friend know how I was feeling it would actually happen. So I just kept breathing, focusing, and praying... (To fall asleep)
I finally fell asleep and got through it. FEWWWWW
After coming home I took a nap woke up to use the potty to realize I had to pee so bad and all I could do was yell OWIE OWIE OWIE... Seriously. I crawled back to bed and after laying and tossing and turning and feeling like poop from chemo then feeling like poop from the UTI coming on. I worked up enough to go find a phone and start making phone calls. I feel better but with pills comes side effects. So I have been awake since 2:30am from night sweats and listening to my honey snore too loud (poor guy has a cold right now) I couldn't take it anymore. So I caught up on yesterday's emails, enjoyed some pinterest funnies and ran into this one and cracked up. It was how I felt while I was laying in bed, thinking maybe I should meditate. I think I use to be really good at it before cancer. I can get there while I am at yoga. But I laid there and debated on calling my Mom but figured I would freak her out. Then I thought well I could call my work peeps.. opps old work peeps in NY because they are up and about, then I started thinking of all the things I need to get to...
sign Nathan up for fall ball
sign him up for guitar lessons
get his guitar string fixed that snapped two days ago (grrrr)
water plants that I keep walking by and I can hear them yelling crying at me (Nathan forgot to water me or distracted by a bug or a neighbor kid or something much more important to a seven year old than watering and I NEED WATER Please!!! LOL)
I need to blog
I need to email so many people back
check my mail before the post office people take it away from me again LOL
check my bank account
transfer all the monthly automatic payments to Dan's checking account, since I quit my day job. Or transfer money over to my checking account before bills are due
look into MAYBE renting a truck for our camping trip coming up and seeing if its really worth the expense
organize the day trips info for camping (what days parks open and close, costs etc)
Help my honey find his fishing license he got for Christmas (one of those things you run into a hundred times and now that you need its no where in sight)
Then I rub my eyeballs to hard
and totally relate to this pic! :)
The sun is waking up now! YEA so I'm going to make me some tea and read me a book. Or find more funnies on pinterest.
My facebook question this round:
What is one thing on your bucket list for this summer?
My answer was: Watch a movie outside with my littles (like movie in the park) with popcorn, root beer floats, etc
We are reading Charlotte's Web right now, so I thinking maybe we will watch the movie outside when we are done with the book. My second one is at least one bonfire at the beach. :)
My littles enjoy going to Arizona to take their beach buckets and search for seashells rocks... What else do you search for in the desert?
They are both into finding really "Cool" precious stones and gems. Every time we go to the library Nathan checks-out at least 3 (usually the same ones from last time) Rocks and Minerals books. I turned it into a fun learning challenge too. He looks up the rocks name in the index, writes down important highlights about the rocks and copies info into a book he is making. Then he glues a picture into the page. He called it, "Rocks and Minerals" By: Nathan Mueller (so original!)